I am a very loyal friend. How loyal, you may be wondering at this very moment. Let me give you an example of how loyal, fair stranger:
I just awoke from a dream in which my friend Max was applying for a job and the hiring manager turned him down, so, naturally, I went to said manager’s house (a house in NYC?). I proceeded to knock on this man’s door a LOT (the door was green in case you were wondering), and when he answered, I sassily half-screamed, “Hey, SCHMUCK! You’re a real idiot for not hiring my friend and I’ll just bet your business fails,” and my friend was on the lawn facepalming and mouthing “I’m so sorry” at the schmucky manager. When I had said my piece (which was very eloquent but also very sassy in my pathetic dream-ego) I sauntered off and felt satisfied, then awoke with a jolt of weird righteous anger, and being very, very cold (physically) in the cryogenic lab that is my bedroom (see you in 2078, Mayan doubters!).
In closing, I think the Hasids are rubbing off on me. Really? “Schmuck?”